‘Ah! Today is my last day in the office! No more I would be recognized as ‘CEO’!’ this thought almost crippled my sensation. I took a deep breath! A peculiar weird feeling I had! I was not sure- whether it was out of sheer happiness of bonded free life or out of sorrow because of losing my high post forever!
However, I gave a last look at my designation signboard. I shook my head, smiled then walked down the staircase instead of using the elevator. I was deeply engrossed with emotions.
A month passed……
A new life! I tried my best to adjust myself to it. It was obviously a little bit boring. Boring in the sense, there was no office, no routine life, no family life either. I was a bachelor.
‘From CEO, right now, I am at nowhere! The worst part is, from a very high level, if somebody comes down to a non-existence form, it hurts like anything else. It is really, really unbearable! But it is inevitable!’ I consoled myself. Although I got enough job offers after my retirement, I rejected them all. I don't know why I was not interested in a job anymore! I had already decided not to join anywhere. Maybe, life long dependent stressful work was not acceptable for me anymore!
Suddenly, once I thought of visiting my ex-office to meet my staff members and colleagues. My heart started pounding overwhelming with joy! I was thrilled! I sat on my chair rewinding few moments of my office life-
‘Every time I entered the gate of my office, starting from the guard, all the staff used to stand and wished me with courtesy. The attendants outside my cabin were ever alerted for serving tea, coffee, snacks whatever I needed. The juniors were on their toes to inform me about the important meetings, calls, or any requirement. Oops! Gone are the days!’ I shook my head violently to come back from my dreamland. Maybe, they would enjoy my companionship after so many days! I went on assuming so many things. And then without delaying further, I went there at 1:50 p.m, so that the lunchtime would be over and they could spare some time with me. Eventually, I got up from the chair and started going to my so-called office.
But when I reached there, all my assumptions bent out of shape!
‘Oh! Hi boss!’ one of my staff members waving his hand greeted me. ‘How is life, boss! Everything is fine?’ That much he talked to me then said, ‘You know, sir! So much work. I’ll talk to you later.’
‘Oh, yes-yes. Thanks!’ I responded and let him go. One after another came and greeted me almost in the same fashion. Nobody had time! They were all busy. I knew that, but maybe my expectation was something different. My visual concept drifted me to my past golden moments!
Even though some of my colleagues were absent that particular day, others greeted me nicely. Yet I felt something was missing! Their casual, artificial ‘hi and bye’ made me sick. At one point I realized, no one but my ego was haunting me in the back of my mind.
Maybe they were right and I was wrong. I should have remembered that no longer I am their boss!That pride and honor of my peak time had grabbed me so tightly that I was not ready to come down from that phase!
Somehow few of them managed to engage their precious time gossiping with me. But I could guess the lack of interest in their talk.
With a heavy heart, I came back from the office. Probably, they behaved decently but since my expectation was on a different level, I assumed them in a wrong way! However, to relax my mind instead of going back home, I went to a nearby park. Sitting on a bench, I was watching every single person moving around there. So many teen-agers were playing, others were enjoying the cool, pleasant atmosphere of the park. I’d nothing to do more, and ample time was there to analyse my own grief. The more I analysed, the more peace I received! Slowly, I realized that no one was at fault. It was my disillusion of the power and position of my hay days. I think I’m not the first person to feel like this, perhaps every retired person must be feeling in the same way, if they’re not engaged in a specific work after retirement!
Life is like this only! People will hover around you, till you’re in high position or you have money. Once you are out of the rank, you will be un-noticeable. Invariably it happens, a few exception, though! Nobody has time to look at you. Even if they pay any attention, then their outlook is definitely changed, something different. So, there is nothing to worry. Up and down is a normal flow of life. We should accept it happily.
If you have somebody or nobody, doesn't matter. It is our mindset that leads us into happiness or sorrow. Let us be happy with what we have!
It was my good day in that park. I learnt a wonderful lesson from some small kids playing over there. While I was resting on the bench, I heard one of the kids telling to his friend,'What is this, yaar? Why are you getting angry for yesterday's incident? Forget it, yaar! It is gone, past! Let it go, yaar! Then only, we can play together again. Be happy, ok?!’
I distinctly heard all his words, but one phrase pierced my heart 'Let’t go’'. I smiled silently because I knew that the boy used these words lightly just like that to pacify his friend, but I took it as a lost treasure. In fact, I thought, 'This 'let, go' is the best principle to make our mind cool and happy!' I appreciated his words!